We all sense that we have a purpose in life. And while we may diligently search for that purpose, no matter how far our searches take us the object of our quest is frustratingly elusive. When I tell you that you are unique, that you have special gifts and talents in a combination that no one has ever had before, some part of you knows this is true. Unfortunately other parts of you deny this truth. While your intellect tells you to eat less and stop smoking your emotions have been programmed to want specific base gratifications. Emotional gratification can be a wonderful thing but the where, when, and how must be chosen consciously. Unity of mind, body, spirit, and emotions is a critical goal of those who follow the way of the enlightened warrior. This unity allows us to have our minds and emotions agree on a path. Emotionalizing the goals we choose with our intellect allows the mind and emotions to work in harmony towards accomplishing the goals we have set.
Our purpose in life is like so many other truths and realities we seek. It is to be found in the opposite of where society, culture, and the masses tell us to look. Our purpose is to be found internally. There is no destiny other than that which we create. There is no purpose other than that which we create. We are the architects of life- our own and those which we touch. Rejoice and give thanks that we are not puppets or preprogrammed robots in some grand production. Do not fear the awesome responsibility of unlimited potential and freedom. Quality lives are built from the inside out not the outside in. The enlightened warriors throughout human history have always lived by a code of honor and conduct. These internal structures are the frame around which we build our own customized life. These structures are also how we weather life’s adversities. Nature is cyclical and we are a part of nature. Do not doubt that life will sometimes place you in the path of a hurricane with a tornado in its eye. Your internal structures will allow you to bend in those times of stress. Through diligent training and practice, you can remain centered, calm and happy as the pain of life’s occasional storms rages around (but not in) you. While integrity is the flexible frame we build internally, our emotions are the source of our motivational energy. Our spirituality is our ultimate anchor and the umbilical cord that connects us to nature and God. Any thought that we are separated from each other and the flow of nature is pure illusion. Ask the wise men of four thousand years ago. They will tell you the same things the most brilliant physicists of today will tell you, interestingly their views of the way things work are almost identical.
The above information is an important foundation as we consider purpose. We can find our purpose through a deep and prolonged consideration of our life to date (This is internal work). We begin by reviewing and contemplating our childhood. In doing this consider every event as a blessing- especially the “bad” events. The “bad” events in our life are our greatest gifts. Why you stammer incredulously? Because like a wild fire engulfing a mountainside, we are similarly cleansed and given fertile new ground for beautiful new growth. Examine your own life and see that only in pain did you really learn, grow and evolve in a big way. It’s important to note here that this is a perfect opportunity to mature our “bad” childhood memories. We do this by remembering/reliving those memories with the emotions of the child we were. Remember that we as adults are probably carrying those painful childhood emotions with us today. Those childish negative emotions are not appropriate for us as adults anymore. Worse still, they could be affecting us as adults. After reliving the event and child’s emotions, we relive the event again. But this time we look at the event as loving adults. We look at the event as an opportunity to learn important lessons and we feel the event with appropriate adult emotions. So here we are calmly, passively examining our own life. We next look for patterns in the things that give us joy. Our goal is to find the threads that begin in our childhood and continue into the present. These threads are the passions in our lives. Our natural gifts and talents are interwoven with our passions. Our purpose in life (in my opinion) is for each of us as individuals to serve humanity and nature in our own unique way. To do this we must discover what is unique about ourselves and develop that combination of qualities so that we can share it with others. In sharing ourselves with others and serving the needs of others our needs will be met. The more we can serve others (in terms of both quantity and quality) the more we are served. This points out a basic natural law. The universe is impeccably balanced. We get by giving. The more we give the more we get. The essence of the warrior way is to be one with nature and oneself. Studying and understanding natural law is critical to this process.
Let me share with you some of the insights I’ve earned through years of prayer, meditation and study:
My thoughts and habits control my life.
Without my emotions agreeing with my intellect, I cannot make positive, lasting changes in my life.
By making daily decisions based upon my specific set of values and goals, I can direct my life towards accomplishing my specific goals while living my values.
Quality lives are built from the inside out, not the outside in.
Our minds think in pictures.
Our minds cannot differentiate between vivid simulation and reality- this is why visualization is so powerful.
The tools we need to pursue our dreams are close at hand.
I am no great example of self-development. I am no different than you are. I make many, many mistakes every day. But through a consistent search for an understanding of how we as human beings can improve our condition, and ourselves I have embarked upon an incredible journey. This is an internal exploration. By understanding who I am and how all the different parts of me act and interact, I will be able to understand others and the external world around me. Now let me share how I’ve taken some of those threads of passions, gifts, and talents and brought them into my life today.
I have done the following for fifteen years or more:
1. Studied cooking, food and wine.
2. Studied vitamins, herbs and nutrition.
3. Studied martial arts and fitness.
4. Fished, camped, scuba dived and hunted.
5. Studied philosophies and religions from around the world.
6. Studied music and writing.
7. Stayed connected to my family.
Cooking, food and wine are passions of mine while the construction industry is not. Most of my work life has been spent in the construction industry- it’s what I did before and after college. As I began to make better money it became harder to leave that industry. Also at the time, I hadn’t done the internal work necessary to discover a direction and purpose in life. But after spending several years of consistent internal work aimed at moving myself towards the purpose I found for my life, I have become a wine salesman who specializes in restaurants. This is not my ultimate goal but for the first time in my life I’m trying to earn a living doing something that I’m passionate about.
Ironically though, the wholesale wine business is about selling product (cases of wine)- just like any other wholesale business. Selling fine wine to the best restaurants in town was fun but due to the long hours and low compensation it couldn’t get me where I needed to be. So I have left the industry as an employee and started a small wine consulting business. I learned a lot about business and wine. I even got the best wine sales job in town before I left the wholesale side. I am focused like a laser on my primary external goal of becoming a successful, well known writer. But I’m not writing consistently. I will persist. I will give thanks for the dead ends and the temporary failures that are leading me to fulfilling my primary external goal. The year is 1997.
I keep on trying different combinations. I know that what I want is behind this vault’s door. I will have faith and persist. I will open that door. Through my temporary defeats in the wine business I have learned many valuable lessons that are helping me focus my efforts on becoming a successful, well known writer. I’m back in the construction business because I can earn a good living to support my family in a reasonable amount of time each week. Of course the first job I took in the construction industry was not what I thought it would be nor was the compensation what it was represented to be. So what do I do? I persist. I eliminate what doesn’t move me towards my goals. I keep doing the all important internal work. Then one day I walk into a construction company’s office and find that they are competitors of a large General contractor that I used to compete against years ago. I didn’t like that other company’s business practices. Either did the company in whose office I was standing. Almost the entire company was composed of former employees of the large General contractor- a young guy had left the big General contractor and started his own company. I liked the small company and saw that they were doing well. I spent two months talking with the owner. I thought that I had a lot to offer this small company and that I could earn a good living while working a reasonable amount of hours. That should allow me the money to support my family and the time to write. The year is 1999.
That job was much better than the others I had tried. The pace, hours and money were much better but the company had to reorganize due to a high debt load. Being among the highest paid people and having given what the company needed, I was a perfect opportunity to cut overhead. I concurred with this move and encouraged the ‘cowardly Lion’ owner to let me go. The year is 2000.
Thank God for me being terminated from that job! The owner asked me what I was going to do. I said that I had thought about starting my own General Contracting Company. The good owner was encouraging and even gave me two small jobs to get me started. I haven’t looked back since then. I have my wife and son and I have the time and money to support them. I have a small, highly profitable business. Best of all (for my dream/goal of becoming a successful, well known writer) I have a brilliant, published author that I see weekly. Larry helps me in a variety of ways.
I do consulting for a few restaurant clients. I help them with their wine programs so that they have a better, more profitable wine list. In return I get annual, free VIP trips to the wine country (Napa/Sonoma). As I write this I am waiting on my Italian & Croatian web site developers. The site will initially help me market my writings to editors and publishers. Later it will be an Internet magazine site. This week is very busy. By the time I leave for my annual free wine country trip next Saturday I have to send the first hundred pages of my novel out to five specially selected people for a targeted marketing survey. I want feedback on the plot, characters, et cetera before I keep going with the manuscript. I have been blessed because the goals I set for myself almost ten years ago are within reach. I have suffered many setbacks. I have fallen countless times. But through it all I have found myself and the timeless, nameless friend that loves and protects us all. The journey has been magical. It is May of 2001.
It is now January of 2002. My two businesses are thriving. I am writing more and have a goal of selling my novel by June. Raising an eight-year-old boy is a challenge but also a joy. Working with Larry is very productive. We are working on a presentation of my enlightened warrior philosophy to augment my articles and novel. I’m on version 4.0 of the presentation and hope to have a final version done soon. Then I practice it on videotape. Next, I present it live to audiences. It’s the third prong of my efforts to market myself and my writings. Never a dull moment. I pray/meditate daily on my values and goals. But I always begin by giving thanks for my hardships, failures, and enemies. Those are the areas I have the most potential for spiritual and integrity growth.
If you are not on the journey of your own choosing if you are not fighting the battles of self daily if you can’t take great pride in your chosen values and goals, then what are you doing? The sands of your life are slowly, inexorably falling. Time waits for no man. Wake up and fight for yourself and others. Fight the good fight. Fight with love, strength, and integrity.